I Refuse To Be Reduced To This

First, when you read that headline, make sure you picture me smiling, laughing, barely able to contain myself. That's how it's meant to be taken, not in some bitter, angry way that it might come across.

And now, I will begin my story.
Basically in the world around us we sometimes encounter men (and women when the situation is reversed) who are known as "That Guy™". Last night I was "That Guy™"

My friends who have more tolerance and less foresight than myself often share great stories of horrible dates they've been on and the atrocious behaviors that leave a permanent impression. I've never really had such experiences. I attribute that to my lack of ability to deal with the slightest amount of bullshit, therefore avoiding situations and people who I can see early on are going to do nothing but waste my time. Much like my last post, I failed once again.

My neighbor, a sweet, slightly-older woman, was talking to me in the yard one evening and I mentioned how I tend to date asian women. She sort of perked up and asked "Oh really?". She then explained how she had a friend who is exactly my age, very attractive and surprisingly single. The flag immediately goes up. Anyone worth having would have been taken long ago. I mean, I look at my single self and know that I'm on my own because I'm more than most can deal with, with 0% tolerance for dealing with others. So it makes sense.

But a few days later she stops by and asks if she can email her friend about me, introduce us this way. I agree. After a couple of emails the friend and I decide to have lunch. It goes okay. She's much more attractive than I would have imagined, but a little... dense. She's more conservative than I know will work for me... and she's got a bit too much of the "daddy's little princess" entitlement thing going on. I dealt with that in one relationship and I won't ever do it again, so I can already see that this isn't going to go anywhere serious.

Lunch ends and we decide to catch a movie later in the week. I figure I'll at least try to be nice, friendly and maybe make a new friend, etc. But since I'm still not all that interested in making any effort to be involved in anything serious I figure at most it'll be a nice way to have a dinner companion from time to time.

So, the week goes by, a couple of emails and plans for the movie are made. I really wanted to see the new Tarsem Singh film The Fall. It was just released after over 2 years of waiting and is supposed to be gorgeous. He also did The Cell, which sucked for a story, but was incredibly beautiful to watch. I figured at the very least it would be eye candy and help to take my mind off of some stress that's building up at work and in my side business. I just wanted a nice, relaxing night out to clear my head and watch a movie.

We decide on dinner first. I pick her up at her place after work and we're off to eat Chinese and have a cocktail before the movie. She is absolutely stunning. She was dressed rather reserved during our lunch, but for dinner she is completely to the 9's. Surprising, since she is rather conservative, but I can't possibly complain about a woman looking good.

Dinner is nice, we chat, laugh, etc. But all the while I'm sort of keeping this counter for all the times she makes comments that expose the over-inflated sense of entitlement and unattractive "I'm the shit and everyone just wishes they were good enough to have me" attitude. It isn't bad enough to completely turn me off, but enough that I continue to think "Yeah, I can't imagine spending any serious about of time with this person". But, like I said, I at least figured I'd get to relax and see a beautiful film.

So, we're off to the movie. We get there right on time, get decent seats and it's underway.

And then it starts...

It turns out that she's one of those people who likes to make comments boldly about what she is seeing or what is happening in the movie. I immediately begin to sink into my seat.

I'm the type of person that tries to be as respectful of other people as possible, especially when I'm out in public. I shut my mouth when I'm at the movies, make sure the phone is off, etc. And I'm usually the one shushing idiots who discuss the movie in progress at full volume as if they are in their own living room. I really can't stand inconsiderate people, especially in those situations.

So here I am, next to a person who is dressed all hot, obviously thinks she's the shit (so much so that she is alone because she has yet to find the man who is "worthy" of her) making comments to the movie loudly enough that everyone can hear, some of them turning and looking over their shoulders in irritation.
Here I am... That Guy. The guy who is obviously such a tool that he associates with bubble-headed trophy girls. The guy who is obviously such a slave to his penis that he'll overlook what a totally socially inept person he is with as long as she looks good.
Only I'm not That Guy, but as far as everyone else in the theater was concerned, I was.

I so wanted to move a few seats down the row.

And then it gets better.

The visuals start to swirl and paint beautiful metaphors across the screen. Pain through the mind of a child is illustrated fantastically. Singh is fantastic.
Then she announces "This movie is WIERD!"
I hear people snicker at her idiocy.

Jesus.

It's amazing to me how people like that have no sense of themselves. They assume that everyone around them couldn't possibly have a reason to complain about anything they do, therefore they have no tact, no self-awareness and no remorse.

At some point the movie starts to get intense. Nothing gory or sexual or anything like that. Just people having to endure some pain and suffering. The things we all have to face as we go through life as adults.
And that's when she says it...

"I don't think I can handle this"

and she gets up, grabs her purse and leaves.

What. The. Fuck.

I, of course, have no choice but to follow her, take her home, etc etc. She apologizes the entire time, but it's easy to see that what her apologies mean isn't "I'm sorry I can't handle that" but rather "I'm sorry that there are people who film things like that and think it's okay... and that there are people (like you) who want to watch them."

Uhhhh... again.. it wasn't anything lewd, disgusting, in bad taste, revolting, pornographic, etc. It was just people having to deal with the unpleasantness of life... only told through the eyes of a child with incredible imagery and wonder. I can't wait to one day see how it actually fucking ends!

And that's when I realized. In the world of this infantile, daddy's little girl princess, she doesn't have to face difficult things or deal with the pain and responsibility that are part of being an adult so voluntarily watching a film about it was simply more than her little dollhouse could bear.

I simply can't imagine how anyone gets to be my age and manages to dodge responsibility enough to never face the reality of life and the world around us. It must be wonderful to skate through life shielded from everything unpleasant, someone else doing the dirty work while she views everything through a filter of pretty pink happiness.

Amazing.

So, back to the original point of all this. I absolutely refuse to be reduced to being That Guy™. I'm not an obnoxious, spoiled, infantile idiot and I refuse to be lumped in with one by association. It's going to take me a while to find the nerve to go on another date after that, because it's hard to see the point in wasting precious time if that's the best the world can throw my way. Heh.