My Life is Now Officially a Bad Fucking Sit-Com

I love my new phone (HTC Mogul), but I will forever refer to it as "The Betrayer".

Last Friday was a *great* day. I read somewhere that a pseudo-scientist had worked out this formula and determined that last Friday (6/20/2008) was the "Happiest Day of the Year" for people. It had to do with the season, proximity to other holidays (like the 4th of July) etc, etc. It's bullshit, but an interesting concept. I mean, the same day can't be the best of the year for everyone. What if last Friday was the day someone's mother died? Pretty sure that's not the best day for them... but maybe for most people it is. So I sort of kept the idea in the back of my mind and tried to gauge how well my day went.

It was incredible.

Then it was a tragedy.

I already had a date lined up. The product of a fantastic night out clubbing with a friend who now has Epic Wingman Status A#1™. I was looking forward to it for days and it was coming together after a frustrating weekend of not being able to sync up with her the week before.
(I will now point out that I realize all my "happy" moments from the day are centered around women and that I continue to be a fucking addict who really needs a 12 step program. I'm aware I have a problem, I admit it, and that's the first step. Heh)

For Friday's lunch, I went for sushi with a couple of female friends. Our waitress was killer cute. But before I could step up to ask for her number (learning lessons from not stepping up at Pangaea - the subject from a couple of posts ago - and missing the killer cute asian, I'm not ever letting that happen again) my friends slipped her my number without me even knowing. Before we left I actually did make the move but she had a BF... they always do... she was very flattered and thanked me for letting her know (or actually, my friends letting her know, without my knowledge) how cute I found her to be.
It felt good to actually be stepping up, but I was aware that it was like looking for a job when you already have one, much easier to be confident because of the safety net. The fact that I was set to meet a cutie latina later that day made it all easier.

Anyway. then the next thing...
There's someone that I've been crushing on at work for months. I would see her repeatedly, but she was always coming/going to/from a different building, not someone I actually had any opportunity to interact with. Then, out of the blue, at a team lunch a few weeks ago she shows up and sits down with the group. Turns out she works peripherally with my group and I didn't know.
When I was at the sushi lunch she came into the restaurant for lunch at the same time.
It was as if fate was doing that thing it did to me with you, screaming "Idiot, I'm putting her in your eyeline repeatedly for a reason."
So, when I got back to the office I made it my mission to finally step up. After all, it was starting to look like I was going for a record of how many women I could ask out in one day. Heh.
Anytime I would go by her desk she was always on the phone... busy girl. So my female friends suggested something stupid that would never work. That I head downstairs to the starbucks in our building, but 2 lattes and give her one with my number on it. Totally weak plan.

It worked.

Within 10 minutes I had an email thanking me for the coffee, which unfortunately she doesn't drink, and a note that we should get together sometime.

Holy shit.

So now I'm blissfully high on my drug of choice, with great things still waiting later in the evening. It really was a great day. Not the best this year... because buying the house and a couple of nights at the show (especially sex at the show) are pretty hard to beat. But still it was a contender.

And then it got better.

After the tragic date I had 2 weeks ago it wouldn't take much for someone to shine, but the date that night was surprisingly, fantastically great. Constant laughs, surprisingly similar viewpoints, etc etc etc. I'll avoid the fact that she's even younger than you.... uhhh.. yeah, as young as you were when we went out... but I know that nothing I get involved in is going to last too long anyway, so at the very most it could be a nice little short-lived romance.

Now, the best 3 dates of my life all belong to you. And I'd love to meet the person to dethrone you on that one, but it simply hasn't happened... in any case, this night slipped right in behind those 3. It wasn't "shut the restaurant down after 5 hours of conversation" good, but it was really damned good.
When it was over I walked past the lit storefronts of the little pseudo-Dallas shopping/eatery mall on a cloud. Smiling so big that it made my face hurt.

It was still early... 10ish... and I was so fueled on the incredible day that I wanted to keep eating it up, taking bite after bite out of the world and riding the momentum of what really was turning into a phenomenal 24 hours.
I texted every friend I had, but they are all lame asses and there was no continued fun to be had. No clubbing, no dancing, no laughing. just a quiet spin down. And I'm stuck trying to push out of my mind the fact that I couldn't wait to spend time with her again.

And then I got the voice mail.

I'll now digress and explain that over the last few months my ex-ex and I have been spending lots of time together. I enjoy having her in my life as a friend, but I was aware that it was a complicated and delicate balance to maintain. Over the last few weeks she had been pushing it further and further, figuring that over time if she stayed in the picture we would end up as a couple again by default. But the simple fact is I still don't want a serious relationship with anyone and even if I did, I just don't feel the passion for her that I need to feel to be in a relationship with someone.

And here's where the ugliness begins.

There was a friend coming into town for the night from San Antonio and a group of ATX friends (including the ex-ex) were going to meet up with her. I told them I had another thing planned (the date, unknown to the ex-ex) but would try to meet up with the group later.
The ex-ex texted me at some point during my date, letting me know where they were so that I could meet up once I was free.

This is where the ludicrous sit-com shit begins.

Apparently when the text came through, a button got pushed on my phone in my pocket to call the number back. This calls the ex-ex, who doesn't answer, cause she's in a loud bar, so it goes to voice mail... where a message is left from inside my pocket relaying 5-10 minutes of my conversation with my date.

FUCK. ME.

Now, the ex-ex and I aren't dating, aren't involved, aren't committed, etc etc... but obviously... it's complicated. The last thing she wants to hear is a flirtatious conversation between me and some little latina chippie.

The "Great Day" train has now gone off the tracks.

So as I was walking away from the date, smiling, on a cloud, the ex-ex was listening repeatedly to this voicemail of my conversation. The laughter, the flirting, the obvious attraction. The happiest day of the year was about to unravel in epic scale.

Again, there is really no reason why the ex-ex can legitimately be upset, but obviously the last thing she wants to hear is me diving headlong into someone with an attraction that I don't feel for her. And, more importantly, I've tried to be respectful of her feelings and the last thing I would want to do is subject her to torture like that. I wouldn't want to hear that shit if I felt that way about someone (I immediately think of how I wouldn't want to hear you in a similar situation). Plus the karma of it all scares the shit out of me.

There's lots more to the story, but in the end the ex-ex has taken the brunt of it, is backing off as gracefully as possible and an attempt to meet up with the latina on the following night failed, leaving me spun. I'm failing on my second resolution for the year, to not complicate my life.

I really hate that even though I know, without a hint of a shadow of a doubt that these situations will only make me miserable in the end, I can't stop pursuing them. If it weren't so late I'd go to the show to make it all much more pleasant.

Heheh. My life.