You asked if I had any resolutions for the new year. I really never think about things like that, but I answered in the last comments and oddly enough, I've already managed (or am well underway in the process) to complete one. I've bought a house.
Great place, huge (2250+ sq ft) and in a fantastic, quaint little neighborhood that makes you want to walk around in the warm twilight air. My friends call it "Stars Hollow" due to its similarity to the community in Gilmore Girls. I'm happy about it. It'll be nice to have my own place. Although I'm not sure if buying a house will break my other resolution, to keep from complicating my life. Heh. But I know that this move is a positive one.
Other aspects of life continue to roll along happily and smoothly. Job is still great, friends are great, side business just had an incredible year (10x from last year) and is already on pace to do the same this year. So, I continue to be surprised at how happy I am. And, for once, I don't find myself fearful of "when the other shoe will drop" as you put it. I am so in the moment... and the moment is good.
Oh, but I mentioned in the last comments that I had something else to post. Just something that went through my mind sort of out of nowhere. For some reason I thought about your parents and how I'm sure they were thrilled when you told them you were getting married... and how thrilled I am sure they were when you told them you were having another baby... just like I'm sure they were elated when you told them you were having the first one. I can't really explain it, but you came up in a conversation I had with my mom over Thanksgiving. She never met you, but she knows of you, knows the impact we had on me, knows how much of my life during the years from 02-06 was shaped and affected by your brief time in it. I thought about how we have this little private place, how we've maintained a connection and are still aware of each other's lives. When I look back on my life in 20 years, or 40 years, memories of us will always be an important part of the whole story, no matter where I end up.
So it's odd to realize that to everyone in your life now (other than you) I am essentially non-existent. I hold no more relevance than anyone else that you dated once or twice, a brief boyfriend that your parents never even met, now completely inconsequential and forgotten. I can't really explain it, just that anyone who sees your life now would look at your husband and your two children as the major factors in it, and rightly so. As if that is the summation of your story. Yet there is this little portal of only 2 months which happened years ago and on the other side of it was this huge impact on another life. It's just odd to realize that for everyone we meet there is so much more of a story in their lives that we can't see by just looking at who they are at that moment.
I'm still not really getting the thought across, I guess I'm just not in the right frame of mind to make it clear. Perhaps it's like a play... one sees the actors, hears their words and goes home remembering the spectacle of the show, oblivious to the writers and stage hands who, while not seen or considered, played a part in the production.
Life Without Tiffany - Candyflip
pull me down (again)
from the clouds (again)
standing on the sidelines (again)
waiting for the right time (and when)
I can play (again)
in her game (and win)
stars are lining up right (again)
but missing one from that night (pretend)
she's in space (again)
found her place (again)
sure she's got the right one (in him)
now her life is set to (begin)
to the show (again)
heart is on (the mend)
the candyflip of chemicals (within)
the only bliss that I know (won't end)
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