My Life is Now Officially a Bad Fucking Sit-Com

I love my new phone (HTC Mogul), but I will forever refer to it as "The Betrayer".

Last Friday was a *great* day. I read somewhere that a pseudo-scientist had worked out this formula and determined that last Friday (6/20/2008) was the "Happiest Day of the Year" for people. It had to do with the season, proximity to other holidays (like the 4th of July) etc, etc. It's bullshit, but an interesting concept. I mean, the same day can't be the best of the year for everyone. What if last Friday was the day someone's mother died? Pretty sure that's not the best day for them... but maybe for most people it is. So I sort of kept the idea in the back of my mind and tried to gauge how well my day went.

It was incredible.

Then it was a tragedy.

I already had a date lined up. The product of a fantastic night out clubbing with a friend who now has Epic Wingman Status A#1™. I was looking forward to it for days and it was coming together after a frustrating weekend of not being able to sync up with her the week before.
(I will now point out that I realize all my "happy" moments from the day are centered around women and that I continue to be a fucking addict who really needs a 12 step program. I'm aware I have a problem, I admit it, and that's the first step. Heh)

For Friday's lunch, I went for sushi with a couple of female friends. Our waitress was killer cute. But before I could step up to ask for her number (learning lessons from not stepping up at Pangaea - the subject from a couple of posts ago - and missing the killer cute asian, I'm not ever letting that happen again) my friends slipped her my number without me even knowing. Before we left I actually did make the move but she had a BF... they always do... she was very flattered and thanked me for letting her know (or actually, my friends letting her know, without my knowledge) how cute I found her to be.
It felt good to actually be stepping up, but I was aware that it was like looking for a job when you already have one, much easier to be confident because of the safety net. The fact that I was set to meet a cutie latina later that day made it all easier.

Anyway. then the next thing...
There's someone that I've been crushing on at work for months. I would see her repeatedly, but she was always coming/going to/from a different building, not someone I actually had any opportunity to interact with. Then, out of the blue, at a team lunch a few weeks ago she shows up and sits down with the group. Turns out she works peripherally with my group and I didn't know.
When I was at the sushi lunch she came into the restaurant for lunch at the same time.
It was as if fate was doing that thing it did to me with you, screaming "Idiot, I'm putting her in your eyeline repeatedly for a reason."
So, when I got back to the office I made it my mission to finally step up. After all, it was starting to look like I was going for a record of how many women I could ask out in one day. Heh.
Anytime I would go by her desk she was always on the phone... busy girl. So my female friends suggested something stupid that would never work. That I head downstairs to the starbucks in our building, but 2 lattes and give her one with my number on it. Totally weak plan.

It worked.

Within 10 minutes I had an email thanking me for the coffee, which unfortunately she doesn't drink, and a note that we should get together sometime.

Holy shit.

So now I'm blissfully high on my drug of choice, with great things still waiting later in the evening. It really was a great day. Not the best this year... because buying the house and a couple of nights at the show (especially sex at the show) are pretty hard to beat. But still it was a contender.

And then it got better.

After the tragic date I had 2 weeks ago it wouldn't take much for someone to shine, but the date that night was surprisingly, fantastically great. Constant laughs, surprisingly similar viewpoints, etc etc etc. I'll avoid the fact that she's even younger than you.... uhhh.. yeah, as young as you were when we went out... but I know that nothing I get involved in is going to last too long anyway, so at the very most it could be a nice little short-lived romance.

Now, the best 3 dates of my life all belong to you. And I'd love to meet the person to dethrone you on that one, but it simply hasn't happened... in any case, this night slipped right in behind those 3. It wasn't "shut the restaurant down after 5 hours of conversation" good, but it was really damned good.
When it was over I walked past the lit storefronts of the little pseudo-Dallas shopping/eatery mall on a cloud. Smiling so big that it made my face hurt.

It was still early... 10ish... and I was so fueled on the incredible day that I wanted to keep eating it up, taking bite after bite out of the world and riding the momentum of what really was turning into a phenomenal 24 hours.
I texted every friend I had, but they are all lame asses and there was no continued fun to be had. No clubbing, no dancing, no laughing. just a quiet spin down. And I'm stuck trying to push out of my mind the fact that I couldn't wait to spend time with her again.

And then I got the voice mail.

I'll now digress and explain that over the last few months my ex-ex and I have been spending lots of time together. I enjoy having her in my life as a friend, but I was aware that it was a complicated and delicate balance to maintain. Over the last few weeks she had been pushing it further and further, figuring that over time if she stayed in the picture we would end up as a couple again by default. But the simple fact is I still don't want a serious relationship with anyone and even if I did, I just don't feel the passion for her that I need to feel to be in a relationship with someone.

And here's where the ugliness begins.

There was a friend coming into town for the night from San Antonio and a group of ATX friends (including the ex-ex) were going to meet up with her. I told them I had another thing planned (the date, unknown to the ex-ex) but would try to meet up with the group later.
The ex-ex texted me at some point during my date, letting me know where they were so that I could meet up once I was free.

This is where the ludicrous sit-com shit begins.

Apparently when the text came through, a button got pushed on my phone in my pocket to call the number back. This calls the ex-ex, who doesn't answer, cause she's in a loud bar, so it goes to voice mail... where a message is left from inside my pocket relaying 5-10 minutes of my conversation with my date.

FUCK. ME.

Now, the ex-ex and I aren't dating, aren't involved, aren't committed, etc etc... but obviously... it's complicated. The last thing she wants to hear is a flirtatious conversation between me and some little latina chippie.

The "Great Day" train has now gone off the tracks.

So as I was walking away from the date, smiling, on a cloud, the ex-ex was listening repeatedly to this voicemail of my conversation. The laughter, the flirting, the obvious attraction. The happiest day of the year was about to unravel in epic scale.

Again, there is really no reason why the ex-ex can legitimately be upset, but obviously the last thing she wants to hear is me diving headlong into someone with an attraction that I don't feel for her. And, more importantly, I've tried to be respectful of her feelings and the last thing I would want to do is subject her to torture like that. I wouldn't want to hear that shit if I felt that way about someone (I immediately think of how I wouldn't want to hear you in a similar situation). Plus the karma of it all scares the shit out of me.

There's lots more to the story, but in the end the ex-ex has taken the brunt of it, is backing off as gracefully as possible and an attempt to meet up with the latina on the following night failed, leaving me spun. I'm failing on my second resolution for the year, to not complicate my life.

I really hate that even though I know, without a hint of a shadow of a doubt that these situations will only make me miserable in the end, I can't stop pursuing them. If it weren't so late I'd go to the show to make it all much more pleasant.

Heheh. My life.

I Refuse To Be Reduced To This

First, when you read that headline, make sure you picture me smiling, laughing, barely able to contain myself. That's how it's meant to be taken, not in some bitter, angry way that it might come across.

And now, I will begin my story.
Basically in the world around us we sometimes encounter men (and women when the situation is reversed) who are known as "That Guy™". Last night I was "That Guy™"

My friends who have more tolerance and less foresight than myself often share great stories of horrible dates they've been on and the atrocious behaviors that leave a permanent impression. I've never really had such experiences. I attribute that to my lack of ability to deal with the slightest amount of bullshit, therefore avoiding situations and people who I can see early on are going to do nothing but waste my time. Much like my last post, I failed once again.

My neighbor, a sweet, slightly-older woman, was talking to me in the yard one evening and I mentioned how I tend to date asian women. She sort of perked up and asked "Oh really?". She then explained how she had a friend who is exactly my age, very attractive and surprisingly single. The flag immediately goes up. Anyone worth having would have been taken long ago. I mean, I look at my single self and know that I'm on my own because I'm more than most can deal with, with 0% tolerance for dealing with others. So it makes sense.

But a few days later she stops by and asks if she can email her friend about me, introduce us this way. I agree. After a couple of emails the friend and I decide to have lunch. It goes okay. She's much more attractive than I would have imagined, but a little... dense. She's more conservative than I know will work for me... and she's got a bit too much of the "daddy's little princess" entitlement thing going on. I dealt with that in one relationship and I won't ever do it again, so I can already see that this isn't going to go anywhere serious.

Lunch ends and we decide to catch a movie later in the week. I figure I'll at least try to be nice, friendly and maybe make a new friend, etc. But since I'm still not all that interested in making any effort to be involved in anything serious I figure at most it'll be a nice way to have a dinner companion from time to time.

So, the week goes by, a couple of emails and plans for the movie are made. I really wanted to see the new Tarsem Singh film The Fall. It was just released after over 2 years of waiting and is supposed to be gorgeous. He also did The Cell, which sucked for a story, but was incredibly beautiful to watch. I figured at the very least it would be eye candy and help to take my mind off of some stress that's building up at work and in my side business. I just wanted a nice, relaxing night out to clear my head and watch a movie.

We decide on dinner first. I pick her up at her place after work and we're off to eat Chinese and have a cocktail before the movie. She is absolutely stunning. She was dressed rather reserved during our lunch, but for dinner she is completely to the 9's. Surprising, since she is rather conservative, but I can't possibly complain about a woman looking good.

Dinner is nice, we chat, laugh, etc. But all the while I'm sort of keeping this counter for all the times she makes comments that expose the over-inflated sense of entitlement and unattractive "I'm the shit and everyone just wishes they were good enough to have me" attitude. It isn't bad enough to completely turn me off, but enough that I continue to think "Yeah, I can't imagine spending any serious about of time with this person". But, like I said, I at least figured I'd get to relax and see a beautiful film.

So, we're off to the movie. We get there right on time, get decent seats and it's underway.

And then it starts...

It turns out that she's one of those people who likes to make comments boldly about what she is seeing or what is happening in the movie. I immediately begin to sink into my seat.

I'm the type of person that tries to be as respectful of other people as possible, especially when I'm out in public. I shut my mouth when I'm at the movies, make sure the phone is off, etc. And I'm usually the one shushing idiots who discuss the movie in progress at full volume as if they are in their own living room. I really can't stand inconsiderate people, especially in those situations.

So here I am, next to a person who is dressed all hot, obviously thinks she's the shit (so much so that she is alone because she has yet to find the man who is "worthy" of her) making comments to the movie loudly enough that everyone can hear, some of them turning and looking over their shoulders in irritation.
Here I am... That Guy. The guy who is obviously such a tool that he associates with bubble-headed trophy girls. The guy who is obviously such a slave to his penis that he'll overlook what a totally socially inept person he is with as long as she looks good.
Only I'm not That Guy, but as far as everyone else in the theater was concerned, I was.

I so wanted to move a few seats down the row.

And then it gets better.

The visuals start to swirl and paint beautiful metaphors across the screen. Pain through the mind of a child is illustrated fantastically. Singh is fantastic.
Then she announces "This movie is WIERD!"
I hear people snicker at her idiocy.

Jesus.

It's amazing to me how people like that have no sense of themselves. They assume that everyone around them couldn't possibly have a reason to complain about anything they do, therefore they have no tact, no self-awareness and no remorse.

At some point the movie starts to get intense. Nothing gory or sexual or anything like that. Just people having to endure some pain and suffering. The things we all have to face as we go through life as adults.
And that's when she says it...

"I don't think I can handle this"

and she gets up, grabs her purse and leaves.

What. The. Fuck.

I, of course, have no choice but to follow her, take her home, etc etc. She apologizes the entire time, but it's easy to see that what her apologies mean isn't "I'm sorry I can't handle that" but rather "I'm sorry that there are people who film things like that and think it's okay... and that there are people (like you) who want to watch them."

Uhhhh... again.. it wasn't anything lewd, disgusting, in bad taste, revolting, pornographic, etc. It was just people having to deal with the unpleasantness of life... only told through the eyes of a child with incredible imagery and wonder. I can't wait to one day see how it actually fucking ends!

And that's when I realized. In the world of this infantile, daddy's little girl princess, she doesn't have to face difficult things or deal with the pain and responsibility that are part of being an adult so voluntarily watching a film about it was simply more than her little dollhouse could bear.

I simply can't imagine how anyone gets to be my age and manages to dodge responsibility enough to never face the reality of life and the world around us. It must be wonderful to skate through life shielded from everything unpleasant, someone else doing the dirty work while she views everything through a filter of pretty pink happiness.

Amazing.

So, back to the original point of all this. I absolutely refuse to be reduced to being That Guy™. I'm not an obnoxious, spoiled, infantile idiot and I refuse to be lumped in with one by association. It's going to take me a while to find the nerve to go on another date after that, because it's hard to see the point in wasting precious time if that's the best the world can throw my way. Heh.