The Thanksgiving week was a unique one this year. My parents are in a new place, which is in the heart of the area my friends and I frequented right before I left. The house is big, quiet and affords me a ton of privacy. I stay down on one end, sort of my own "wing", so it was a great place to decompress.
I decided this time I would actually see all my old friends. We always say we're going to get together, but when the time comes everyone is already booked with plans. It was a little odd though, and added to the intensity of the "coming home" feeling that was pervasive throughout the week. Seeing the friends I was around before I left and going to the places where we used to go was a very powerful reminder. Part of me felt like I could take a different turn at a stoplight and go right back to my old home there.
All the nights were with friends you had met. We went to some of the same restaurants and the Mojitos flowed endlessly. Except for the cold it was very much like those nights 5 years ago. At one point Ang even referenced you, playfully calling you "[your name] Milkbar" as a nod to that night when everyone was together.
Since I was in the area I decided to swing by and take a few pics. They aren't as good as I wanted, but they capture the place pretty well. The memory is probably really faded for you by now, but maybe these will ring a bell.
Click to see full-sized images
All of this had me thinking on the way home, partly due to your question on the previous post and your messages during the week. Usually I'll post lyrics here to wrap up each post, a bit trite, I know, but at least (I think) they tend to be from songs off the beaten path so maybe you'll look them up and get exposed to something you wouldn't have heard otherwise.
I also realized that I tend to use music like photographs, capturing moments very succinctly. Even though these songs may not represent what I feel now, they do a nice job of expressing what I felt at one time, even if they are new or something that I hadn't yet heard when the memories were made. If I hear something today that makes me think "I remember feeling that" then I can relate.
So here are a few:
VNV Nation - Beloved
"My beloved do you know that when the warm wind comes again, another year will start to pass?"
Lifehouse - Everything
"How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?"
VNV Nation - Standing Still
"It wasn't you it wasn't me it wasn't anything.
It was a day so long awaited and a chance to be as me.
I let the wind run through my hands as I turned to walk away.
In distant days I long to sense it all so clear.
And fighting time so hard I pray that this moment lasts forever."
Hooverphonic - Renaissance Affair
"I miss you all the time I must face
I miss your touch and your embrace"
Onyx Whisper - The Second Song
"And she's laying so softly, next to me
whispering things I used to only hear in my dreams.
She makes love so slowly, so subtly
washed in blue as she moves under me."
Oceanlab - Sky Falls Down
"You know when it hits you, you know when you feel it, there's no mistaking when you fall."
Ascension - For a Lifetime
"The world I cling to is the world where you will always walk with me."
Matthew Good - Weapon
"Here by my side, an angel"
2 comments:
These pictures are beautifully haunting! I remember standing in the same place those were taken. It looks so much like it did that night. As happy as I am currently, you know I'm always waiting for the other shoe to fall, so often times I wish so much that I could lock myself in time. Just pick one memory and spend the rest of my eternity there. Man, these hormones are something else, let me tell you! I cry at the drop of a hat, especially today it seems! I would love to live in the memory of that night. I can't take this anymore, I need to focus elsewhere in hopes that I can compose myself again. I'll write more later. (If I can) :~)
Awww, don't be sad (although I know you're at the mercy of your body right now). A friend of mine went through *crazy* moods when she was pregnant and had a real hard time with post-partum depression, so I know how it is.
Part of me will always want to go back and live in those nights again. I once told a friend that if I could get stuck in any day (like the movie Groundhog Day) I think it would either be that one or the Samba/Milk night. For a long time it was really hard and very sad but now it's different.
I still miss those days, always will, but now it's in a healthy way. I'll never get to go back there, but at least it *did* happen and I can go to those places and think "I got to experience something very special here, something that some people might never be lucky to have, even if it was just for a moment in my life" and that makes me happy.
The sad thing is when the places go away. The Samba Room and Milkbar are now closed so I can no longer meet friends there for dinner/drinks and think "This place has some great memories attached to it".
I was thinking about something last night along these lines that I'll talk about in my next post.
Glad you like the pics, I do too. It was exactly like that night, only it was *freezing*. I was really happy to be there again, because everything else in my life is good so I could really appreciate it. The visit was part of a really great Thanksgiving week.
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