The Real World

You said that we rarely talk about our current lives when we speak, so here's a little rundown on what's been going on with me. It sort of goes in the opposite direction of what I created this little haven to be, but I guess everything evolves.

I've had a problem with one of my knees for years. A holdover from a youth of BMX and skateboarding. I tweaked it again recently and it kept me off of my feet for a couple of days, worse than ever. It was enough for my doc to finally agree that we should operate. Turns out I had a cartilage tear which they repaired with simple surgery about 2 weeks ago. Since then I've been on the couch. It's cool because I'm able to work remotely so I'm not losing ground at work or anything. In a few weeks, once it's all healed up it'll hopefully put the long-nagging problem behind me for good.

Oddly, the ex ex has been helping out here and there. I've been careful to keep things friendly, just to avoid anything getting messy (and unbalancing karma again). Not to sound arrogant, because she is probably the only ex I would say this about, but I can see that she would still jump at at the chance for us to be "us" again. I'm still very much in my mindset of not wanting to be involved with anyone at all. Funny, cause I've even recently met people which I know I would have been very interested in a few years ago, but now I sort of play the situation out in my head. I think "what would happen if I did get what I want?" and it doesn't take long to come back around to knowing that ultimately it would just make life unbearably complicated and less enjoyable than it is right now.

I know that part of it is also an increasing cynicism. I have a friend of a friend who is recently divorced from her high school sweetheart. So this is sort of her first foray into the world of dating as an adult. She's experiencing things that most of us did in our late teens/early 20's now in her early 30's. Part of this period involves online dating, with which I've had a fair amount of experience and realize seems to create more hope and anticipation than traditional meetings. So each week there's a new infatuation filled with all this hope, promise and excitement for her. I don't take any of it seriously. I'm glad she's having fun, but it's interesting for me to see how my perception is different these days. I guess I have a "have fun while it lasts" attitude... "because nothing ever does". I don't rain on anyone's parade or anything, but I just don't look to love to bring sunshine, rainbows and endless bliss so it's interesting to watch people who are still very invested in making their life "magical" with love as the lynchpin.